For the uninitiated

Welcome to my new blog about LOVING, the fuel that keeps us going, day in and day out. 

Regardless of where you are in life, whether in your teens or late fifties, you have somehow come across the notion of love. Romantic love dominates interpersonal relationships of which we will have only a few worth remembering as we age. Parental love is also present in most people's lives. There is also love for nature, for our pets, communities, our jobs and our hobbies. 


In this first post, I'd like to introduce some ideas about love that I have gathered in fifty years of memories. Please, read carefully and share with those you think might need to find out these truths. The earlier in life, the better. 

The toxic fairy tale: romantic love

So many of us have been poisoned with the notion that there is a "special person" who is our perfect match and will take all our troubles away once we make them part of our life. We long for the day we will meet "the one", assuming that once we manage to entangle our life to theirs, all will be well. It is just a matter of finding the right person. 
This is one of the most toxic myths of our times. There is not such a possibility. There are people who share our values and to whom we show greater affinity than to others, but we are all flawed human beings who carry ancestral stories we are not even aware of. 
Great physical attraction might seem like the unspoken remedy to all challenges we will be facing together, but "living happily ever after" comprises a lot more than just finding "the one". 

Self-love vs unconditional love

Is loving myself a better recipe to ensure a happy life? Does financial independence mean I am ready to risk "falling" for someone else and "give a go" to romantic love? Will it hurt less if we break-up? Notice the use of the terms falling and break-up when talking about love
It turns out, we are shaped by the way we interact with others, so we can never become ready to face the challenges of these interactions -at any level- by studying more or perfecting a skill. Becoming self-reliant is not a passport to skip deception from those we trust the most. 
Nothing prepares us to love a life partner unconditionally, except the trials we will face together. Unconditional love is a concept too large to embrace until we have no choice but to prove we can give it. Those who have become parents have experienced it and we are supposed to love everyone the same way, or else, it is not love. 

You cannot do it alone

I am only getting started and yet these are truths we cannot fully grasp until we face suffering. Pain comes into our life in different shapes and forms. Sometimes, it's through illness or loss. And loss is a BIG word too. It includes to lose someone who dies or something we treasure, even the sense of security. 
In life we lose belongings big and small, we miss opportunities, we even lose countries to unevolved hearts and minds. We tend to think that a political party or tendency can make the world a better place, failing to admit that there is good and evil in all of us. 
We cannot evolve on our own, we need others and we need a power greater than ourselves to give us the strength to move up a level, once we are aware of the laws of nature. We must tune into the frequency of the force that allows the Universe to be in perfect order by surrendering to some sort of divine source. 

Life crises

No one is always feeling joyful and motivated. Life is full of highs and lows. The "mid-life" crisis is the obvious one that affects most people when death taps them on the shoulder. We start looking into our life-purpose and revising our bucket list when faced with our own mortality.
In reality, we can stay in emotional dips for extended periods of time from our pre-teens, through our early twenties and even after we passed the mid-life barrier. We are just better equipped to face these crises as we grow from the challenges we face as we live our life. 
Feeling miserable doesn't need to be justified. In doing so, just be aware that it is part of living. Search medical advice if you may, look for emotional support in the virtual or real world, search for a spiritual path that works for you. If you feel stuck, move about, even just a little, to feel that you are alive. Even plants move depending on the direction of the light. You can do it too. 

When in doubt

If you are overwhelmed by a predicament, breathe. Notice the air moving into your lungs through your nose and filling them with love and wellness. Breathe out your sadness, your uncertainty and your illness. Drink some good quality mineral water. Spoil yourself with small treats you can afford, even the ones money can't buy. This is self-care and allows LOVE to flow through you. Every little counts. Feel proud of yourself for even the smallest of accomplishments. Every journey starts with the first step and you can always change direction as your target becomes clearer. And if you cannot see beyond the now, that's ok too. Stay there and smell the smells, drink the water and move your limbs, your head. 
You are loved. 

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